Wandering Soul

I was born in Rhode Island but grew up in Connecticut for the majority of my childhood. I have three siblings, one brother, and two sisters. We were raised in a middle-class setting where my father worked two jobs and my mother in the school system. We used to have at least a quarter acre of land where were grew our crops, except for two houses we lived. I also worked when I was eight or nine, delivering over a hundred newspapers on my bicycle each day but Sunday. Once I got older, and I worked at Friendly’s (an American style family restaurant) and worked tobacco in the summer. I would always be picking up side jobs to clean up lawns in the spring and fall, and snow shoveled in the winters. I enjoyed playing soccer when I was younger and ran cross country and track and field in high school. I was apart of many groups and clubs throughout the years. In my senior year, I enlisted in the United States Marine Corps and left for boot camp shortly after my graduation. My brother was also a Marine, and one sister was in the Army National Gaurd. Both my grandfathers were in the Army, and I had two uncles, one in the Marines and the other Army National Guard.

I spent four years in the USMC, where I became an Assault Amphibious Vehicle (AAV) Crew Chief. I did a tour in Iraq and went on the 31st Marine Expeditionary Unit (MEU), where I went to Japan, Thailand, Philipines, South Korea, and Australia. Some of the best moments of my life and some of the worst. I would do it all over again, no question asked. After I got out, I moved to Florida for two years, where I went to college at the Art Institute of Fort Lauderdale for culinary management. After Florida, I moved back to Connecticut for a few months, but left to move to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, and lived with a fellow Marine I served with for about a year. Then back to Connecticut, but got a job working on a commercial fishing boat out of Massachusetts with my brother and a friend who I grew up with and went to boot camp together. I did that for about five years out of three different states. Until I had enough of it, I quit and worked for family and friends for the rest of that year. At the beginning of the following year, I went to two trade schools, one in New Hampshire for heavy construction operator and in Wisconsin for horizontal drilling. I got a job with a company out of Connecticut and would travel to different parts of the country for work. Only to quit after six months due to crashing a company truck intoxicated into a telephone pole. That wasn’t my first incident, but hopefully the last. That’s what brought me to where I’m at today—three VA hospitals later another program to go.

During those years, I developed PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) from certain events, which helped lead me into substance abuse. This caused me to crash three vehicles plus three DUI’s on five different occasions. Countless nights I can’t remember due to blackouts and waking up in places I didn’t know. I struggled for many years because of this. It cost me my marriage and multiple relationships, thousands of dollars in court fees, and vehicles, plus the thousands upon thousands of dollars on alcohol itself. As I look back, I can’t believe the amount of money it has cost me. I could own a house with ten acres of land. But no, I’m currently carless and homeless. I only have a storage unit with my belongings from over the years. I spent most of the last ten years moving around from couch to couch, family member to a friend. Only once a place of my own when I lived in Virginia for work. I was not living a stable life, and I was going around in circles, getting nowhere.

The life I am pursuing now is a sober one. It has been a difficult journey to get where I’m at today, but I am happier today then I have been over the last fifteen years. Sobriety has taught me a lot about my self and who I truly am, plus saving lots of money. I am learning how to take control of my life, my emotions, and my actions—learning to deal with the pain I have encountered throughout my life not to drink them away. This is an enormous accomplishment in my life, and I hope to continue. It has become the hardest challenge to overcome mentally. The Marine Corps was physically and mentally challenging as well, where I initially developed PTSD and substance abuse. The most physical challenge was being on the commercial fishing boats, talk about the pain you experience all over your body, nothing compares. But that also put me through mental distress and PTSD. It’s a rough life out there and heck you wouldn’t believe half the incidents that have happened.

I helped develop and became a part of this website to give a different view on the life of recovery. To be able to reach out to the ones that are new to recovery or thinking about changing their way of life. I’m still currently new to this lifestyle only seven months sober on May 20, 2020. I wanted the site to feel welcoming and relatable, not like a hospital pamphlet. So throughout this site, you will learn more about me and how I overcame substance abuse and learned to cope with my PTSD. I hope you enjoy what you see and learn a thing or two that might help you.