I mentioned in my blog “I belong” that my boyfriend died when I was a senior in high school. Like many people who lose someone they love suddenly and tragically, there was one question that screamed in my mind repeatedly, “WHY?” I just couldn’t understand why God chose to take him and not me. He was so full of life whereas I on the other hand, well, looking back, I was pretty fucked up in the head already. I’m not really sure when my mental illness started to manifest, but I do know that by fifteen I began having suicidal ideations. I had asked that question, “why?” for about 10 years. Then my grandfather died, and someone suggested that I read a book about a near death experience called Embraced by the Light, by Betty Eadie. It gave me a new perspective on life and death. Specifically, it opened my mind to the concept that we are all here for a purpose and that purpose connects us with others, not only in the physical realm, but in the spiritual realm. I’ve been interested in this metaphysical motif ever since. Someone turned me onto this book in rehab. I liked it so much that here it is almost ten years later and I’m turning you onto it. Although it is fiction, it explores the idea of the connectedness of all human beings and how our actions affect others though we may not even know them or they us, and vice versa. Albom also provides us with the notion that in death we continue to learn life lessons and gain a deeper understanding of the life we lived. Seeing, listening, and reading about this sort of thing not only brings me some sense of comfort about this lifetime, it helps me to accept things in life and to accept that everyone has their own path and purpose. Most of all, it helps me deal with life on life’s terms. And in the end, if all of this spiritual stuff turns out to be bullshit, what the hell do I care? I’ll be dead.
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