I was living in a dark hole for many years, thinking I could never change that I will always struggle with the pain inside me and the pain I have caused others. It is not easy living a life like this, going around in circles getting nowhere, being trapped in my mind, not knowing how to escape. Until I finally reached out for help and emitted my self into multiple inpatient programs to help me with my PTSD and addiction. It is in those programs that helped me see a brighter outlook on life and given different perspectives on my troubles that have haunted me. Sometimes when you feel all alone and don’t know to face your problems, you find someone willing to help you sort through the pain and guide you to a brighter future. You can’t change the past, but you can change your future.
Change is the hardest obstacle to achieve. Nobody likes change, but many of us wish it, and a lot of us don’t know how to go about it. There is no one way to forgo it, and everybody had a different way of doing it. What works for me may not work for you and vise versa.
So how do you accept change?
How do you stay motivated?
How do you get back up when you fall?
What do I do?
First, stop putting so much pressure on yourself; your only going to let yourself down. It is not easy, it is hard, but it is not impossible. Stop trying to do it alone; everybody needs a lifeline. I don’t care who you are or how tough you are. Even if you the most badass person on the planet, everybody needs somebody, and somebody needs you. Ya believe it, or not somebody needs you, whether its a spouse, child, friend, niece, nephew, brother, sister, coworker, aunt, uncle, grandparent, grandchild, anybody, they need you. And without you, their life wouldn’t be the same. That’s YOU, your life, your heartbeat, your voice, you touch, your presence, YOU make an impact on them, a positive one. They are your motivation.
You feel like you’re in this hole, and you can’t get out. You can, one, keep doing what you are currently doing expect to change, but don’t change anything about yourself and just keep digging deeper and deeper into that dark hole you call life. Whatever you are doing is not working, it hasn’t and it won’t. So STOP. There is another way. You have to dig your way up out of that hole.
“Well, how the heck do you dig up??“
You look up, and you see the light at the opening of the hole, but you can’t just jump up there; you are too deep. But that’s where you want to be. It’s bright, the sky is blue, you can see the sun, the birds flying over free at will, everybody is enjoying it but me.
“I’m stuck here deep in this dark hole, how do I get out? I’m all alone, and I thought you said I needed somebody. Where are they?”
Well, you have two types of people in this situation. The first person has experienced similar situations as you and had been down in that hole. So that person is going to jump down in with you.
“Well, what the heck why would he jump in?”
He knows how to escape the same hole that once trapped him.
“But you said not everyone could get out the same.”
No, but he can help you get started. He can teach you how they dugout. He can help you begin to break down your walls. Ya, you see those walls around you in that hole? You have to start breaking them down. You have to start digging out steps to make a stairway to climb out. One step at a time, throw that dirt behind you and step up. Break down those walls that have been holding you hostage in your own body all there years. Change your hole, change your way of thinking, change your attitude, change your emotions, change your way of life, change your perspective, these are your walls.
You are not trapped in a deep dark hole anymore; you’re escaping. Escaping those things that have haunted you, drove you down, that pushed you in that hole. You know what those are, but you have to throw that shit behind you. There is a better life waiting for you up top, and that’s where we want to be. No more digging deeper into a life of regret and sorrow. No more sitting in that hole, trapped in your mind by those walls, running in circles getting nowhere. We’re digging our way out, one step at a time. Were looking at this hole with a new perspective. You don’t see a hole surrounded by walls; you see a stairway beginning to develop a way out. You start thinking about that better life awaiting you; maybe I can be happier, I can do this, I see a way. Let’s do this!
“Alright, I see what you’re saying, but what if I don’t have that type of person in my life, who is the other?”
Well, the other somebody in someone in your life that wants to help but doesn’t know-how. They want to know what hurts and how they can support you, but you don’t know how to let them in. They are the ones on top of the ground, and they want you to be there with them. They are trying to dig down but can’t find you, because you are too deep. You won’t dig up; you won’t let them in, you don’t know-how.
So what I you do?
Its the same concept as if somebody jumped in with you, but this person is up top. You have to learn to open up, one step at a time. You have to break down those walls. Change your hole, change your way of thinking, change your attitude, change your emotions, change your way of life, change your perspective-your walls. The only difference is that somebody wants to meet you halfway. They want to dig down to help you, so you have to dig up so they can find you. They don’t need need to see that shit at the bottom of the hole. They just want to see you. And if they can’t see you, if you’re not willing to meet them halfway, they may give up. We don’t want that. We want to be up top with them in the bright sun, blue skies with the birds flying free above us. That’s your motivator, that person is it. We can’t lose them, they want to help you, and they want to see you for you. They want you with them. So let’s work on taking down those walls and building up those steps to meet them. If you’re lucky, you may have both types of people in your life or just one, but either way, there is someone, and there is you. A better you, a you that deserves them, and they deserve you.
So what type of steps are we taking?
There is no direct order of steps. Every step is different, and each person’s order of steps is not the same. There is a wide variety of areas we can look and focus on that may help you build your staircase out of your hole. You can do it one step at a time. And if you fall back at times, well, just remember you already started building your staircase, so you made progress once you can do it again. It takes practice and patience, like a baby learning to walk. They didn’t learn overnight, they fell a lot, but they also got back up and tried again. Some take longer than others, but in the end, we all learned how to walk. You didn’t give up then, so why give up now? Take on the challenge of transforming yourself to live a better life. Let’s work our way up there one step at a time. You are not alone, somebody is there for you, and you are here for somebody.
First, we can pick a wall to work on for our transformation: your thinking, attitude, emotions, way of life, or perspective. There are many other walls we will dig through, but these are just a few. If you follow along with my blog, I will begin to discuss each wall to break through and build a step to a brighter future.
Your new life is awaiting you!
Let’s get you there.
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Very inspirational as well as true thank you for the encouraging words